Simple Is Better – Your Story Matters – Including the Parts We May Not Share

Psalm 66:16 - Come! Listen, all you who are loyal to God. I will declare what he has done for me. 

Stories. We love them. Why? Because we connect with them. They make life real. Relatable.

Your story matters.

Stories bring us closer to a situation and help us understand life. Great stories are the ones where we see ourselves. Find something that connects to us. Speaks to us in a real and honest way.

When I find a connecting point with someone, it is amazing how quickly I feel like I connect with this person. It starts with a connecting point. A shared experience. A similar loss. The understanding when we have gone through a different, but somewhat same, situation. Even if we don’t know each other very well, when these connections are made, often, two people find themselves opening up and discovering they have more in common than they realized.

This is why stories are so important. Why your story matters.

And yet, as I have sat with hundreds of people and heard their stories, I realize that there is always more to a person’s story than we know. We may know some of a person’s life. Their job, their family, some of their experiences. But there are things often held close to the chest. Things we share with only a closely curated group of people. The most difficult things to talk about, yet often the most defining moments of our lives.

We don’t just keep these stories from other people. Often, don’t honor them ourselves. We haven’t granted permission to honor them within our own being. We’re embarrassed or disappointed. The story drags up old hurt and pain. We don’t want to experience continued suffering so we stuff the story down. Hide it. Pretend it really isn’t that big of a deal.

But it is. Our stories matter. They are big deals. They define us. Help us understand more about ourselves. Hidden stories and pain shortchange us of fully appreciating who we are, what we have gone through and how resilient we really are.

Why do we suffer in silence? We’re embarrassed to share how we really feel. We think others will think less of us. We’re not comfortable sharing a story because it will affect how others think of us and possibly someone else. It’s too difficult to share the story. We are more committed to painting partial pictures of ourselves rather than being truly honest.

Let me be clear. Sharing all of your story with everyone is not what I’m suggesting. We can do more harm than good when we share our story and have not unpacked it ourselves. We need to be comfortable with our story before we honor someone else in sharing our story.

Here’s the problem. When we don’t honor our own story, then we withhold from ourselves all of who we are. We restrict our potential growth. Lessons we can learn from our past. And . . . the opportunity to bless someone else with connection, lessons and learnings we have discovered from our own stories.

Living with grief and trauma is tough. Give yourself a break. Be honest that there is more to your personal story than you share with others. Maybe even yourself. Admitting this doesn’t mean you have to suddenly share your story with a bunch of other people. It simply honors who you are, where you’ve been. What you discovered about yourself.

When you see your story as important, then you will honor other people’s stories more. Personal connections are what people in grief, pain and suffering need. Real connection is imperative for survival. Finding ways to express trauma outside of our bodies fosters healing. Once we become more comfortable with our story, then we open ourselves up to truly being this connection point with someone else. In a healthy, real and honest way.

My story matters. Your story matters. The hidden and often unshared parts of our stories matter. When we become disappointed and disenfranchised with another person, try to remember there is more to their story than you probably know. And this is influencing their behavior right now; even if they aren’t aware of it. As we begin to see the parts of our stories that we often keep hidden, then we also discover something new about ourselves. Find ways to connect with people who you might not otherwise connect with. And this, my friends, is where the real depth and breadth of our stories takes place.

Blessings –

Dianne

Holy God – Thank you for organizations that are committed to help those with food insecurity challenges. May we embrace the opportunity to support and encourage this. Amen.

Looking for a bit of daily inspiration? Check out my daily affirmation posts on Facebook and Instagram (Dianne Deaton Vielhuber and Simple Words of Faith.)

Dianne’s Upcoming Unraveling Together Book Events:

Sat., July 25 – Main Street Books Event, Reedsburg, WI, 1-3 PM