Simple Is Better – When Sunshine Feels Impossible

Matthew 5:45 – If you do this, you will be children who are truly like your Father in heaven. He lets the sun rise for all people, whether they are good or bad. He sends rain to those who do right and to those who do wrong.

It was a beautiful day. The sun cast long shadows through the church’s east-facing windows. A strong hint of spring pervaded the outside air. Flowers peaked out their sunny faces from within the green leaves of their supporting structures. Optimism should have encircled us all.

Inside the church sanctuary, a completely different feeling prevailed. A casket with a 20-something-year-old young lady choked up everyone who stepped into the space. The presence of her 6-year-old son who depended upon his single mom for every bit of his wellbeing turned chokes into sobs. Even if they were not visible on the outside, every person present felt them on the inside.

An awful tragedy led to this situation. Mom was driving to work late morning for her lunch hour shift. Did she look down? A deer jump out in front of her? Her phone fall on the car’s floorboard? The details will never be known. Her life ended tragically when her car struck a tree. The EMTs determined she died quickly.

Her family, friends, co-workers and an extended community sat shellshocked during the service. The young son didn’t quite know where to sit. Sometimes, he was leaned upon his maternal grandmother. Other times, he bounced to his mom’s friends. His spontaneous and uncalculated behavior felt like a metaphor for how everyone else felt: lost.

During the service, I lacked adequate words and simply said that all I could do was stutter. No words would ever answer their questions. I encouraged them to turn to the young woman’s creator, God, for comfort and peace. It was literally all I could offer them, along with some memories others had shared with me.

A very full church meant an overflowing luncheon immediately after the service. As I hustled chairs from another room into the community room where people were eating ham and turkey sandwiches, the young woman’s cousin hunted me down. His anger was extremely evident. Palpable. He minced no words as he confronted me and informed me that no gracious God would ever allow such a beautiful person to die so quickly and so young. How could I profess faith in such a God? In his mind, the whole service was a sham. IF there really was a God, this death would never have happened. He could never believe in a God that would allow such things. How could I encourage someone else to believe in a God like this?

Truth? I’m softening his words to me in this description. His words were filled with anger, professed loudly and with a pointed finger inches from my face. He walked away briskly when a church member walked into the room where we were. He didn’t want anyone else to see how he had conducted himself in front of the pastor.

For him, and so many others that day, the promise of a rising sun, a new day, hope for a better tomorrow, felt terribly far away. I’m not sure this man wanted the sun to sun. He was angry, hurt, disappointed. He certainly did not want me to offer comfort or an alternative view that life could go on. How could the sun rise the next day where we would see it or not?

A cloudy, rainy day would have matched everyone’s mood so much more. Instead, the sun had the audacity to show up. Shame on the sun. Shame on me for sharing that there would be a better day ahead. Shame on anyone who encouraged even a sliver of hope on this awful, difficult day.

Here’s the hard truth. The sun always rises whether we see it or not. Whether we want it to rise or not. Even when hidden behind wispy clouds or dark thunderheads, the sun is there. Sometimes, we yearn for it to break out. To bring its smile and joy to our hearts and souls. Other days, we are perfectly content for it to remain hidden and covered up. When the sun isn’t shining, we feel permission to let our scarred souls remain dark and dreary as well.

It’s not always easy to embrace the truth that life goes on even when we might wish it would not. When days lack sunshine, we may be grateful that our souls can hang onto the sadness, hurt and disappointment. When the outside weather fits our inner mood, we feel permission to allow ourselves to let the heaviness hang loud and clear in our lives.

And it’s okay.

The other hard truth? Life goes on even when we might wish it would not. We decide what we take forward and what we leave behind.

If your heart and soul are filled with more cloudiness than sunshine today, it’s okay. Be honest with yourself. Let your truth be present. Allow yourself to feel the feelings, honor the emotions, know that getting in touch with them is so important.

May you also keep tucked in the back of your mind that the sun IS behind the literal clouds and the storms of your life. The sun will come out again, welcome or not. Neither is right or wrong. Both are acceptable. Real. Honest. You get to choose where you are today. And can hope for a different reality tomorrow.

Blessings –

Dianne

Lord God – Sometimes, I literally do not want the sun to shine. And may I be okay with this. May I also accept that the sun may show up even when I’m not ready for it. Help me be present with where I am today. Whether it’s clouds or sunshine, both are acceptable. Amen.

Looking for a bit of daily inspiration? Check out my daily affirmation posts on Facebook and Instagram (Dianne Deaton Vielhuber and Simple Words of Faith.)

Dianne’s Upcoming Unraveling Together Book Events:

Sun., Aug. 30 – Blackhawk Bethlehem Church, 9 AM worship, S10174 County Road C, Sauk City, WI

Sun., Aug. 30 – Pages & Parcels National Day of Grief Event, 1-3 PM, 101 N Main St, Potosi, WI

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Simple Is Better – Finding Contentment