Simple Is Better – When It Is Difficult to Feel God’s Love

Psalm 13:1 – How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?

Gratitude Day 953

“How do I know there is a God when I don’t feel God’s love?”

Recently, this question was posed to me. And wow! It’s a great question. I quickly realized if one person has this question, a lot of other people are also struggling with this same question.

I’m not confident that I can adequately answer this question because I do NOT have all the answers. While these are things that I have studied, I share more from my personal experience than anything. If you struggle with this, I would love to hear your feedback. If you know someone who has a similar question, please share this blog with them. I think it is so important to have conversations about questions we have related to faith.

So, let’s begin by exploring few questions that are a part of this larger question. I hope this will provide a framework as we consider what to do when we don’t feel God’s love.

Is God’s love conditional? Am I worthy of God’s love?

No, God’s love isn’t conditional. I feel very strongly that EVERYONE is worthy of God’s love. Yes, you and everyone else is worthy of God’s love. In fact, I would say our unworthiness comes from the human condition, not God’s judgement. God is very clear about God’s ability to love everyone. I think human beings make it complicated and want to put rules and boundaries into place.

Is it wrong for me to question God’s love? Will this disappoint God?

No and no. When we question if there is a God, then we are actually open and acknowledging that we do believe in a God. Question all you want. Being open to the possibility of support says our hearts are open to this.

So if God’s love is available to all and I am worthy of it, why can’t I feel it?

Everyone’s relationship and experience with God is unique and special. I must be very careful to not assume I  understand anyone else’s relationship with God. I struggle with understanding my relationship with God at times. How can I ever make sense of someone else’s? I cannot fully.

Our relationship with God is like everyone other relationship: they aren’t linear. Or a nice progress where the relationship is aways growing and getting better with no setbacks. This is not how relationships, including our relationship with God, works. Relationships are complicated. They weave through all different stages and levels and understandings.

This. Is. Normal. No relationship can be a stagnant line. It’s either going one way or another. Always. Ideally, our relationship with God would be moving more in the direction we feel closer to God. But this isn’t how it always works.

IF you are questioning God’s love for you even if you don’t feel it, this says to me that you believe in some type of higher power because you are searching for this. Even if you don’t necessarily feel it. If you’ve ever prayed, asked for assistance, pleaded with God – there’s a part of you that wants to know God and continues to search for God, even if you don’t always feel successful.

My suggestion? Keep looking. Keep praying. Keep asking. Keep searching. Sometimes, the search for something can feel long and hard. Often, the journey is just as important as the discovery.

Am I doing something wrong?

No. Just maybe change course.

Sometimes, God shows up in our lives in very unexpected ways. We may expect this one-on-one moment with God. Yes, these moments do happen. But maybe God is expressing love to you in a way that you didn’t expect:

• Through another person

• Through grace that comes unexpectedly

• A moment in creation that quiets your heart and soul

• When someone does something totally unexpected for you

• When something turns out unexpectedly but potentially better than you could have designed

• Through some small act of kindness that comes your way

• When something you do becomes something significant to someone else

• As you watch the sun set, a baby bird take flight, the peacefulness of water lapping towards shore

• And a million other different ways

I think we all want the moment when God’s love is confirmed to us once and for all. For some people, this is their story. For others, it’s something that happened here and there and everywhere in between. Most often, I do not think God comes in the loud clanging moments but in the still, quiet moments when we least expect the Lord to show up.

Maybe it’s time to give up.

This is a very personal call. Yet, remember a time when you kept going and persevered and didn’t give up. The reward may often feel even more special when the pursuit is longer.

John Wesley, the founder of the Methodist movement, talked about pursing God this way. Keep searching for God until you find God. And then because you found God, keep worshiping God daily.

Will there be disappointment along the way? Absolutely. Will there be moments when you feel it isn’t worth the effort and time? No doubt. Making faith part of our daily lives is a life-long pursuit.

There was a man who went to worship every Sunday. He simply didn’t miss unless he was out of town. Some worship services were meaningful for him. Other ones? Not so much. Someone asked him why we always went to church, why he always kept searching for God. His response went something like this: “Some Sundays, the sermon doesn’t speak to me at all. Once in a while, a message feels like it is speaking to me. And those are the ones I don’t want to miss. In the 50 years that I have been married to my wife, she has made me dinner over 18,000 times. Most of those dinners, I don’t remember. There are a few that I do. What I do know is that over 18,000 times, my wife nourished me with dinner. The same is looking for God. I don’t always remember exactly what my soul was fed when I went to worship. What I do know is that showing up makes a difference. God was already there. It was my job to keep showing up as well.”

But no one else seems to struggle with this.

Hmm. I totally disagree with this one. If we are vulnerable enough to share, it will not take long to find someone else who struggles with feeling God’s love as well. I can’t speak for other people but I can speak for myself. There have been days when God felt so very, very close. Right next to me. And then, the very next day, God felt so terribly far away. So far that I wondered if God existed.

Our feelings about God will not be the same every day. It just doesn’t work this way. When those close moments are at hand, I celebrate them. I relish them. I hold them tight. They are the moments that I hang unto when God feels terribly silent and far away. For even when I don’t feel God or question if God is hearing me at all, I have hope that God WILL show up someday. And those are the days that I celebrate.

How am I confident in God’s love?

Because I need the hope of something more than myself. I have experienced grace in my life. This unearned grace represents God’s deep, deep love for me. Grace I don’t deserve. Grace I haven’t earned. Grace I can’t explain. When I feel this grace wash over me, this IS God’s love for me. I can’t always explain it but I can feel it. And I pray there are moments in your life when this grace and God’s love is so very special for you.  

Blessings –

Dianne

Loving God – Thank you for being patient with me when I’m not sure You love me. Help me grab onto those moments when I am amazed with something. May these moments point me back to You. Thank you for the grace that continues to come my way. May this show me just how much You love me. Amen.

If this post touched you, I invite you to share it.

Looking for a bit of daily inspiration? Check out my daily affirmation posts on Facebook and Instagram (Dianne Deaton Vielhuber and Simple Words of Faith.)

If you have enjoyed this blog, please pass it along to someone else who will also enjoy it.