Simple Is Better – How am I to understand Valentine's Day love?

Hubby Rick's Valentine's Day Message to me a few years ago

1 Corinthians 13:8a – All the special gifts and powers from God will someday come to an end, but love goes on forever.

Colossians 3:12-14 - Since you have been chosen by God who has given you this new kind of life, and because of his deep love and concern for you, you should practice tenderhearted mercy and kindness to others. Don’t worry about making a good impression on them but be ready to suffer quietly and patiently. Be gentle and ready to forgive; never hold grudges. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Most of all, let love guide your life, for then the whole church will stay together in perfect harmony.

Gratitude Day 982

Today’s the day. Maybe you think of it as another Hallmark holiday. It’s Valentine’s Day. A day filled with so much emotion, anticipation, expectation.

For many years now, I’ve spent the days leading up to Valentine’s Day helping my sister, Debbie. Debbie is a florist. And a baker, which means Valentines’ Day is a big holiday for her. For the last two days, we’ve been doing everything flowers, dipped strawberries, cookies. You get the picture.

It’s wonderful to see the ways people want to celebrate love. I’ve talked with plenty of guys this week who are totally uncomfortable picking out something for their special someone. How many times have I heard, “You know this stuff better than do. Just pick out something pretty.” Yep, I can do that.  

There are also the super sweet calls. The step-daughter who ordered flowers for her step-mother. The daughter’s dad recently passed away. Knowing her step-mother might not be getting something special today, the step-daughter took care of it. Yes, we will make sure the step-mom has something nice today.

As I wrap up flowers and prepare packages and plan the most efficient route for the delivery person, I am thankful for those people who do take love seriously. Love is SOOOO important. If there is one word that I would use to describe God, it would be the word love. I never, ever want to underestimate or minimize the love God has for me. For you. For all people. Love that is unconditional and never-ending. A love that is almost impossible to fully understand and appreciate.

Valentine’s Day can be tricky. What is someone who you really love who has passed away? Is not on speaking terms with you at the moment? Or you have a rift with someone that you just aren’t sure how to mend. What about a single person? How do these people feel on a day that is supposed to be all about love, love, love?

Scripture has a lot to tell us about love. 1 Corinthians 13 is often called the “love” chapter. We’ve probably heard the words from this letter hundreds of times at wedding ceremonies. These are wonderful words of encouragement for how we should love others. But these words were not written to encourage two people who are getting married. They were written in the context of how people should treat one another. It appears the early Christians weren’t sure how to resolve disagreements within the church. Paul wrote these words as guidance and wisdom of how to handle these situations.

There are three different ways we should express love within our lives. First, we are invited to God love the way God loves us. Next, we are encouraged to love others the way we want to be loved. The last form of love is learning to love ourselves as the special person that God created us to be.

Lately, I have come to realize that as much as I believe and teach and endorse the love of God, I have not figured out how to love myself very well. I struggle with appreciating just who God created me to be. It is much easier for me to love others than myself. I never question God’s love for me. But my ability to fully love myself? Not so much.

Maybe this is because I feel sometimes people are too full of themselves and this turns me off. Or I want to keep my pride in check. It is not because I have a hard time feeling others love for me. No, it goes back to my internal wiring.

Not fully loving myself means that I am not fully honoring the person who created me to be. I cannot fully appreciate the gifts and talents God has bestowed upon me when I deny fully loving myself. I am only beginning to see how this prevents me from fully loving God and my neighbors when I fail to love who I am as a beloved child of God.

Your love challenge may be different than mine. And this is OK. In these next days, let’s encourage ourselves to see where we struggle with love. Do you not truly believe in God’s deep love? Are we constantly finding ways to not love those around us, especially those who are different from us? Or, do you have it difficult to love yourself as a beloved child of God?

When we allow love to more fully integrate into every area of our lives, then how we live and what we do becomes a lot easier. When love is the root of who we are, then decisions and choices are based on how we see love in the world and in our lives.

Too often, we choose fear over love. We cannot allow ourselves to fully immerse ourselves in the great depths of love because we have been hurt before. Or we convince ourselves that it won’t turn out well. We remember the times that we tried to love and feel like we failed and so avoid these feelings once again.

I love Paul’s words: Most of all, let love guide you. Not sure when to forgive someone? Let love guide you. Struggle with a big or small decision? Let love guide you. Hanging onto something that you wonder if you should let go? Let love guide you.

I know. Finding the way to let love guide you feels more complicated than this. Even after we’ve made a decision, we over wonder and wonder if this was the “right” decision. The great thing about God? Whether it was the best decision or not, it doesn’t matter. In God’s eyes, there will always be another opportunity.

On this Valentine’s Day, go ahead and send those Valentine’s cards or candy or flowers. Send a sweet text message or call someone who warms your heart. May I also encourage us to see where our love blind spots are? Where do you find love challenging? Difficult? Hard? Speak to God about this. Ask that your heart will be softened so that you can more fully experience all the love this world and life wants to shower you with. We have a lot to learn about love. Today and every day.

One other note: Tomorrow, Sun., Feb. 15, I’m sharing a program about my latest book,

Unraveling Together: Sharing the Threads of Grief, at the Reedsburg Library, in my hometown of Reedsburg, WI. If you are local, love to have you join me for this compassionate workshop about grief.

Blessings –

Dianne

Most Loving and Gracious God – Your love for us is beyond measure. With your example of love, we are encouraged to love our neighbors. May we also see that as Your beloved child, we are called to love ourselves. Help me see new depths of love this week. May I see love more clearly in my life and in my daily living this week. Amen.

Looking for a bit of daily inspiration? Check out my daily affirmation posts on Facebook and Instagram (Dianne Deaton Vielhuber and Simple Words of Faith.)

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