Simple Is Better – Unraveling Together

Psalm 119:28 – My spirit sags because of grief. Now raise me up according to your promise!

Gratitude Day 943

Yesterday morning, I couldn’t sleep. It was early. Before the sun had come up.  After fitfully trying to get back to sleep, I got up, plodded to the kitchen and begin reviewing a stack of papers I had put there earlier.

The previous day, Hubby Rick commented when he saw another mound of papers covering the kitchen island. Every few weeks, there’s been a new stack. Each time he sees them, he asks, “Is this the last set?”

Until now, my answer has been, “No.”

Maybe, just maybe, this will be the last stack of papers. I’m optimistic but not 100 percent convinced. Nonetheless, the content is close enough that I’m willing to share what I have been working on for weeks. Months. Actually, years.

It’s the manuscript of my second book. I expect to have it completed next week when it will be submitted for laid-out into an actual book.

I can hardly believe it. This project has taken so much longer than I anticipated. I’ve had to dig deeper than I expected. I’ve been challenged in many new ways.

Hard things aren’t new. Last fall, I completed a marathon when I wasn’t sure I could. I’ve juggled multiple jobs, served as a sandwich generation caregiver which means caring for parents and grandchildren at the same time. Countless times, I’ve squeezed in unexpected projects and ministry, moved, and a bunch of other things simultaneously. Yet, none of these is the same as combining the words for this second book.

It's not a book I anticipated writing. The story starts over five years ago when I was beginning to write my first book, The Mary Experiment: When Doing and Being Collide. I asked some women to join some focus groups as research. At the end of one focus groups, my friend Jo pulled me aside. She appreciated that I wanted to write a book about Martha the busybody, and her reflective sister, Mary. Jo encouraged me to consider my next project after this book: a layperson’s book on grief. “We need a different voice about grief,” she said. “People don’t know what to say so we say stupid things. We want a guide for our grief; how to be there for others. Write a book that people can relate to. Let them know they are not alone. God has not abandoned us.”

Jo’s words shocked me. A grief book? Me? Seriously? Never in a million years had this thought entered my mind.

About a year later, Jo and I sat together again. The Mary Experiment was completed. I wanted to revisit Jo’s words. Was her suggestion for real or just a side comment? Was Jo a messenger to me? I needed to find out.

Jo was dead serious about me writing this layperson’s guide to grief. She shared why I needed to write this book. After our chat, I slowly began to do research. Construct a possible outline. I wrote a few chapters and shared them with a small group of friends for feedback. It seemed to take forever to make progress. Why did writing this book feel so hard? I’d make progress and then something else would demand my time and attention. Multiple times, I set a potential publish date, only to see the day pass by. It felt like a project that would never end.

Last fall, again, I recommitted myself to the book. I set a deadline to publish it sometime in 2025. Then, I treated this project basically like a fulltime job. I wrote the last chapters and rewrote much of what I had previously written. I cut and I moved stories. A few people gave me feedback. Repeatedly, new stacks appeared on the kitchen island and I dutifully went through another version of the book. Editors helped improve the manuscript. I met with early readers and listened to every suggestion they offered, confident their feedback would improve the final product. Night after night, Hubby Rick patiently allowed me to stare into my laptop and work on this manuscript when we could have been doing something together.

Truth? I’m still working through a little bit more of the manuscript. Yet, I also know that it will move to the lay-out next week.

I can hardly believe it.

While I have casually shared this project with a handful of people, I’ve been leery of sharing too much. What if I don’t finish it? Is the book good enough to publish? I’m sharing this story only because while out for a run yesterday morning, I realized it is time to start talking about this book. “Unraveling Together: Sharing the Threads of Grief” will be published.

This is a layperson’s book on grief, written to relate to people where they are in their grief journey. It’s based on real-life grief experiences sprinkled with some faith-based reflections. Grief happens in many areas of our lives, more than with the death of a loved one. A variety of grief causes are explored. We do not journey through grief in a nice linear fashion, but rather all over the board, with emotions and feelings we do not know what to do with. I tackle the difficult faith questions related to grief. While I am not able to answer them all, I pray that I give us permission to be okay with unanswered questions.

This is not a super easy, fun book to read. It deals with heavy topics that we often avoid. This is a book I pray people will return to when they experience different types of grief. My desire is that it will be a source for encouragement that we can have a life filled with joy and contentment while still struggling with grief.

When will it be published? I’m still not sure. My guess is early fall. If not until then, why am I sharing about the book now? Because it felt like the right time. If you are working on a big project, please stay with it. Some projects take a lot longer than expected and this is okay. Because the timeline was extended, I experienced additional grief that I reflected upon for the book. I also feel it is important to remind myself and others that sometimes God speaks to us through others. Our job is to listen and be inspired to move forward with the information, especially when it doesn’t always make sense. Finally, I am sharing it now because it would be really helpful for others to pray with me about this book and project. This book has taught me the value of community. It’s time for me to ask my community to bathe this project in prayer.

Writing these words is uncomfortable for me because self-promotion isn’t my thing. I’m trying to change my perspective and remember God is way bigger than I am. My job is just to be faithful.

Thanks for reading along with my Unraveling the Threads story. I look forward to sharing more about the book soon!

For being used in a way I never expected, I am thankful.

Blessings –

Dianne

Holy God – When I step back and look at how this story evolved, it is clear Your hand was part of it. Encourage us to be Your messengers with other people. Challenge us in new ways that are often not comfortable. May we appreciate that You are so much bigger than we are. Help us open ourselves to be used in Your kingdom in amazing ways. Amen.

Looking for a bit of daily inspiration? Check out my daily affirmation posts on Facebook and Instagram (Dianne Deaton Vielhuber and Simple Words of Faith.)

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